Romeo & Juliet In 20!
by The Creative Side of Rae chan
Summary: The play in it's shortened... or 'abridged' version. R


Romeo and Juliet in 20!  
  
A/n: This is my take on the play "Romeo and Juliet". A little crazy, that's all. If I owned this, I'd be dead. x.x  
  
  
Romeo and Juliet in 20!  
  
Act 1 Scene 1  
  
Gregory: There is a fight down in the big house.  
Sampson: I'm gonna kill 'em all and chop off the women's heads.  
Gregory: Why chop off the women's heads?  
Samson: Because if they look at me, they see an Abercrombie and Fitch model, and that is too good for them!  
Gregory: Whatever. Hey look! Here comes some Montague!  
Sampson: Do we run like dogs?  
Gregory: No, we stay.  
Sampson: I will flick them off.  
[Abraham enters]  
Abraham: Do you flick us off?  
Sampson: I sure do.  
Abraham: Are you flickin' me off?  
Sampson: [to Gregory] Is it a good thing if we flick them off?  
Gregory: It sure ain't.  
Sampson: I wasn't flickin' you off... I was... uh... flickin' myself off.  
Gregory: Do you fight?  
Abraham: No, we don't fight.  
Gregory: Here comes one of my homies.  
Abraham: Liar.  
Sampson: Fine. Draw your swords. Let's fight like men. [Fight]  
[Benvolio enters]  
Benvolio: Stop fighting! You have no idea what you're doin'!  
[Tybalt enters]  
Tybalt: Prepare to die, you heartless pig!  
Benvolio: But I'm not fighting!  
Tybalt: I hate all of you! [they fight]  
[townspeople enter]  
Townspeople: KILL THEM ALL!   
[Lady and Lord Capulet enter]  
Capulet: Hey, Lady! Gimmie my sword!  
Lady C: Why do you want your sword?  
Capulet: Just give me my sword!  
[Lady and Lord Montague enter]  
Montague: You are my enemy, you will die!  
Lady: Do not fight!  
[the Prince enters]  
Prince: If you fight in this town again, or spill blood on these cobblestones, you will be killed. Got it?  
[everyone nods]  
Prince: Alright! See ya'll! [everyone leaves except Lady and Lord Montague and Benvolio]  
Montague: What happened?  
Benvolio: Everybody was gonna kill everybody else, then the Prince came... you know the rest.  
Lady: Where's my son?  
Benvolio: He was trudging through the forest feeling sorry for himself 'cus of his break-up with that ho Rosaline.  
Montague: He's been sulking at his window, and not letting any light through his room. You think he might be on extacy?  
[all shrug]  
Montague: I don't know. Whatever happened to him, he's in a bind.  
[Romeo enters; Lady and Lord Montague leave]  
Benvolio: What's wrong with you lately?  
Romeo: I'm in love.  
Benvolio: With...  
Romeo: Rosaline, but she's not gonna get hitched with me, so I gotta go kill myself now.  
Benvolio: Oh well. Stay alive, there's more fish in the sea.  
[they leave]  
  
Act 1 Scene 2  
  
[Capulet, Paris and Servant enter]  
Paris: What do you want?  
Capulet: I want you to marry my 13 year-old daughter.  
Paris: Cool! When do I marry her?  
Capulet: I want you to win her heart.  
Paris: Nothin' a few flowers and kisses can't do.  
Capulet: This calls for a party! Come're servant! Give me a piece of paper. [writes down a lot of people's names that he doesn't know on that piece of paper] Okay, go tell these people that I want them to come to a party. It will be held tonight!  
[Capulet and Paris leave]  
Servant: I can't read!  
[Benvolio and Romeo enter]  
Benvolio: Get a new girl. Is it really that hard?  
Romeo: For me it is.  
Servant: Can you read?  
Romeo: What kind of question is that? Of course I can read!  
[Servant hands Romeo the letter]  
Romeo: I know these people! [reads note to Servant aloud] Rosaline is going to be there, too?  
Servant: As long as you are down with the Capulets, you guys can come too. [leaves]  
Benvolio: Yes! We get to go to a party! And we get to eat, too!  
Romeo: *sigh* But Rosaline will be there.  
Benvolio: Just find some girl more beautiful than she is, you fool!  
Romeo: I'll go 'cus you want to. [they leave]  
  
Act 1 Scene 3  
  
[Lady Capulet and Nurse enter]  
Lady: Where's my daughter?   
Nurse: Somewhere. JULIET!!!!!!  
[Juliet enters]  
Juliet: What?  
Nurse: *points* Your mother wants you.  
Juliet: What do you want?  
Lady: Go away, Nurse. *pause* Wait- come back. I'm insecure and can't talk to my child alone, so I need someone here with us. You know that Juliet is a very attractive teen now.  
Juliet: I'm still in the room, ya know.  
Nurse: She's 13 now. She will be 14 at the end of the week. I remember when I had a child... *sigh* The good memories... until the baby died... oh well.  
Lady: Shutup.  
Nurse: I want to see you married, Juliet.  
Lady: That's the reason I came here. Paris wants your hand in marriage, but you have no say in it anyway, so you might as well forget about trying to get out of it.  
Nurse: He looks like an Abercrombie and Fitch model.  
Juliet: I'll think about it.  
[Servant enters]  
Servant: Dinner is ready. Come on down!  
Lady: We're coming, wench. [exits]  
Nurse: *winks* You'll lose your virginity soon enough! [they leave]  
  
Act 1 Scene 4  
  
[Romeo, Benvolio, Mercutio, and a few other people enter]  
Romeo: How do we get in?  
Benvolio: One word: Mask.  
Mercutio: You are gonna dance tonight.  
Romeo: I will nail myself to the floor.  
Mercutio: You will fall in love soon enough, Romeo. Lighten up!  
Romeo: Yea... right. I dreamed last night.  
Mercutio: Queen Mab was with you last night.  
Romeo: Aw... shutup. You have no idea what you are talkin' about. There's no such thing.  
Benvolio: If I miss supper, it's your fault!  
Romeo: I'm going to die soon. O.o [they exit]  
  
Act 1 Scene 5  
  
[Capulet in his house- now welcoming all the guests]  
Capulet: Welcome to my humble home! Dance all you want, and get drunk for all I care. Be happy, everyone!  
[Tybalt enters]  
Tybalt: Uncle! Romeo, a Montague is here.  
Capulet: Who cares?  
Tybalt: But he will wreck the whole place!  
Capulet: I don't believe you. Go away before I throw you out!  
Tybalt: See ya.  
  
Romeo [to Juliet]: I want to kiss you.  
Juliet: Okay. [they kiss]  
Romeo: I want to do that again. [they kiss again]  
Juliet: Wow. You're good!  
[Nurse enters]  
Nurse: Your mother wants you. [Juliet leaves]  
Romeo: Who is her mother?  
Nurse: The Lady of this house. [exits]  
Romeo: *gasp* What have I gotten myself into...  
  
Capulet: Don't leave yet! Well, if you do leave, good-night and thank you for coming!  
[Juliet wanders over to Nurse]  
Juliet: Who was that guy?  
Nurse: Who?  
Juliet: *points* Him.  
Nurse: I'll go ask. [goes and asks, then comes back] It's Romeo.  
Juliet: Romeo................... *sigh* [they exit]  
  
*~*  
A/n: Please review! I'm going to put this out Act by Act, so It'll be done soon! Tell me what you think! Flames are welcome, as long as they're on the cool side. ^.^ Thank you! ::runs off to start havoc::


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